The power of loneliness

lonellyness

Hi lovely person who keeps reading even though my contents been rubbish lately! I  f you have read my last two posts ( mental health update! + what I did when i went home to help my mental health you will know i have been struggling with my mental health. Well im slightly ashamed to say over the last week that has led me to make some decisions i’m not proud of, letting  people back into my life who don’t deserve it and possibly getting back into a relationship with one of them. I just did this cause i felt so worthless and almost grateful that they would even want to talk to someone like me if i’m honest… oh god this got more honest than i thought i would.

I wasn’t even expecting to write this post, but something just happened that made me snap out of it a bit! So i thought id share as the aim of my blog is mental health awareness so i might help someone else who’s feeling like this who knows?!

So what happened is i told my room mate what i was planning to do, he said nothing but ok he didn’t need to say anything else the look on his face told me something was wrong he looked heartbroken. My anxiety brain switched straight to thoughts like have i done something to upset him? Has he heard negative stuff about this other guy? But when i asked him what the matter was, “he said i don’t want to ever see you hurt you deserve so much better someone you like and gives a shit about you.”

In that moment i knew i had someone who gave a shit. Yes he may not be someone who makes me feel like the only girl in the word or someone to cuddle at night but their just words and easy actions anyone can do. That look on his face you cant fake.

I felt truly cared about and liked by someone and i’m sure everyone does if not more than 1 person i mean i have my family as well but i kind of feel like they have to care. What i’m trying to say is know your own self worth know that you are amazing and only keep the people who can see that to in your life because people you just let in because your feeling lonely will help temporarily, but more than often will end up making you feel worse.

 

4 thoughts on “The power of loneliness

  1. tartantights says:

    Hey Courtney

    Your room mate sounds like a decent, genuine guy even if in the long term he might not be the one .

    The important thing is that your feeling better about yourself and that you don’t let anyone disempower to make you feel lonely or isolated.

    Remember you are queen of your own castle and in the words of Eleanor Roosevelt ‘ Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent’ Stay strong and keep up the good work

    Best Wishes
    Gayle X

    Liked by 1 person

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