2018 Goals

 

2018

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Hi everyone long time no speaks I know, but I needed some time away from blogging as, to be honest with you I wasn’t enjoying it as much and the pressure I put on myself to do something my heart just wasn’t in was making me anxious and uncomfortable. However recently I have been feeling the urge to blog again and decided to not put pressure on myself to post every week or stick to certain themes. just post what I want when I want!

I say this and yet I still asked my twitter followers on courte20s what you wanted to read and I put down as an option 2018 goals simply because that’s what I saw everyone else in the blogging community doing, I only realised this when it got chosen and I had thought of what I was going to write thinking “you haven’t got any new year goals that was clever)   So to see how my years progressed and what goals I could create for this year I looked back on my 2017 goals post I spent the whole time reading it laughing at myself I hadn’t achieved one of my goals but to my surprise, I didn’t actually care.

It was then I came up with my new year’s goal: Do what I want not what those close to me want me to do, not what people around me are doing and now what society is telling me to do! 

I’m pretty proud of this light bulb moment because at the end of the day it’s my life when my time comes at the end of it ( sorry to be morbid ) I won’t have to answer to anyone else and neither will you.

So instead of goals that when you look back you won’t really care about, set goals that end with you being happy whatever that may mean.

I will try and post more often I do plan to but no promises.

As always thanks for reading and comment below what things are important to you to achieve this year.

Courtney

Do not define yourself by your mental health

time-to-change

Hi again after over a month of not blogging as I’ve said before I love this and if I ever don’t blog for a long period of time its because of my social anxiety, which is slowly getting better after a bad month or two I might explain that in more in another post if you want me to but I’m fed up of being negative at the moment so instead I thought id share why I have decided to pluck up the courage to write this post and whats changed for me.

 

 

While I haven’t been blogging I’ve still been reading blogs from amazing people who struggle with mental health conditions but still continually post amazing and insightful post. I was always in awe of them everytime I read a post this at times made me feel guilty that I couldn’t be as strong as them to do this and then led to my anxiety getting worse and letting negative thoughts creep in such as ” yer it doesn’t matter that your not blogging cause no one likes you anyway so they won’t care or miss you” ( sharing that bit of negativity is for the purpose of positivity I promise)

This constant getting inspired by people and then comparing myself to people I couldn’t match up to or didn’t think I did was a rut I was getting myself into I wanted to be like these people but I just couldn’t.

But then I had a lady who was a representative of the #timetochange campaign come into my lecture in the mental health module of my course, she was introduced as a professional and not someone with a mental health condition who had used services herself. I heard all these amazing things she had done in her career, to be honest, its a career I could only dream of and then we were told details of her mental health conditions and the depth of how serious they were.

I was shocked, but i wasn’t shocked she was able to do this amazing job with a mental health condition I was shocked she chose to due to the nature of the parallels her mental health had with her job I can’t go into detail about what her job was but all I will say is that her colleagues also ended up being here care providers while during the times she was servilely unwell and then she would go back to work with them when she was better. I just sat there in shock that she was one brave enough to do that and not scared of stigma and two had the self-confidence that she was able to do the job with the confidence that she was still an equal to her colleagues. Questions about stigma and confidence in her abilities as a practitioner were brought up by my peers in the lecture and her replies just gave me a new outlook on my abilities both professionally and personally such as hobbies like blogging. She said:

” my mental health is part of me but its not all of me it also gives me a different outlook on the way I look at things which are a strength, it also helps me relate to people with mental health issues but I know that I can still treat them because everyone condition is different and I’m here today telling you all this to break the stigma so you can see that everyone with mental health is an individual and shouldn’t just be seen as their mental health”

This amazing lady made me realise that my blogs won’t be like the other amazing peoples in this community if I do blog and if I can’t blog when I’m ill that doesn’t mean I’m less brave them then cause I might have things in life that they can’t do while they are struggling with their mental health due to our individuality as people.

So lastly before I end this ramble I realise this post has been a bit jumpy that’s because I’ve had to miss out details and not to say how it affected my personal feeling for my fears of my abilities in my career and instead stick to how it helped with blogging because of privacy issues. but i hope i got the point across that if you have mental health issues or no someone who does don’t compare yourself to others don’t put yourself down don’t stigmatise yourself by seeing yourself as your mental health condition instead see yourself as an individual with a mental health condition who still has personality and invalid strengths and weaknesses and have confidence in yourself.

Thank you so much for reading I hope to post again soon!

Courtney

 

Everyone’s mental health recovery is unique 

Last night I  took part in my first mental health chat on twitter. (#MHchat) What was a very positive experience and left me personally feeling supported was tarnished by a few ignorant comments such as “people should stop banging on about mental health ” and the very noticeably  ignorant  comment “just go for a walk to cure mental health” which shock horror doesnt work! Anyway before I start ranting about the people who made the comments I’ll stop talking about them and move on to the reason I’m writing this post.

During the chat I saw three reoccurring questions and topics being talked about these were:  How they were scared /unsure how to get treatment? If they needed treatment? What kind of treatment to choose? So as I started this blog to help people I thought I’d do by best to give advice and reassure people on those issues because I know from myself if someone like the people on twitter belittle mental health issues it can make you even more unsure of your own very REAL  problems your  going through. But please don’t listen to them and listen to people who understand and want to help you. But PEP talk over and onto giving that help by trying to answer  the 3 questions I mentioned earlier.

  • Scared to get treatment and unsure how to?


Many people are scared to get treatment for mental health problems due to the negative stereotypes relating to the type of people who get mental health treatment, and the negative connotations to the treatment itself. All I can say is people judge and make assumption on things they don’t understand. I know from personal experience it can be very hard to rationalize in your head that people are saying unhelpful  and sometimes very mean things about mental health or your personal mental health because they do not understand what you’re going through, because at a time where you feel your most vulnerable and insecure ignorance can be so damaging. But please do be brave enough and confident enough to seek treatment because if the reason you are not seeking treatment for your mental health is other people’s comments then in the long run your going to do more damage to your own health by not  getting treatment than any comment could! And of course all mental health treatment is confidential so even though it helps to have a support network when having treatment nobody even has to know your having any. On topic of how do you get mental health treatment I’m not medically trained so even though I have been through the process i would not want to give you misleading information so i will leave some links relating to UK mental health help at the bottom of this post.

  • Do I need treatment?

The thing I’d personally think about to answer this question is how much is your mental health effecting your happiness and daily life. Mental health is a subjective thing only you can feel and know what you’re going through no one can read minds so unless your showing physical signs of hurting yourself or others no one has the right to tell you if you should or should not get treatment. ( I know its controversial to say people have the right to send you to treatment if you self harm but that’s just my personal opinion) A common thing i see is people saying i dont think im unwell enough or desrve to get treatment. Well it doesnt matter if you look at your friend/family member and think well their mental health seems worse than mine so I don’t need treatment. This is not the case! First of all just like people can’t read your mind you cant read theirs, you might have exactly the same severity of mental health issues but their just more open to talk about it then you or they show more physical symptoms than you do and again you can see physical things not mental making it seem like they are more severe. But secondly so what if they are worse than you? Should  you not get the right to treatment to make you happy and live your life without the barriers that mental health brings just cause somebody else has it worse? Of course you should still get treatment you only get one life and that life is yours no one elses so you owe to yourself to be as happy and do as many things as you want to in your life. So to sum up you need treatment if you feel your personal quality of life could be improved by having it.

  • What kind of treatment should I have? 

To a certain extent this is again your choice. I’ve seen lots of people say that drugs make them feel numb or CBT didn’t work for them or relaxation and breathing therapy didnt work for them ( I tried the relaxation approach it didnt work for me ) but try at first at least to ignore other people’s opinions on treatments and listen to the professionals  because like i said mental health is subjective it  might not have worked for them but may work for you. However if you try the treatment plan suggested by a medical profesional  and it isn’t working for you i would always suggest telling them or getting a second opinion because as i said they will be medically trained so have a good idea how to treat your condition but mental health is so personal and subjective that only you know if you are improving or not. About the types of medical  treatment again i am not a trained professional so i will make sure the links i leave below explain them for you.

That’s all the questions i wanted to answer. Thank you so much for reading. I am being a complete hypocrite here because if someone has made negative comments to be about my mental health i would never have been able to say the things i have said to you to myself! I hope one day the ignorance sounding mental health can stop i didn’t want to go into too much detail bout what happened on twitter because i didnt want them to get anymore attention so instead i thought id piss them off by banging on about mental health even more while trying to help people in the process as always leave what you think in the comments. Tweet me or dm if you want to chat at anytime my username is @mrssykeswannabe

nhs pages : how to acsess nhs mental health services

a list of mh disorders for more info

non medical support: young minds a site with mh info for children and teens

childline free confidential support for anyone under the age of 19

samaritans free confidential help for adults

mind a charity providing mh support and info

 

Courtney

Thoughts everyone with social anxiety will have going back to school

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This year is the first year  I haven’t spent the first weekend of September a crying and shaking mess, as its the first year im not going back to school (im offically a grown up yay!) But i’ve been seeing on twitter that a lot of people who follow me are feeling like this  so i thought  i’d let you know you’re not alone by sharing what i used to think and sharing advice on the topic
So here were my main anxious thoughts when going back to school:

  1.  Nobody would want to speak to me and id be sat all on my own at break and lunch times.
  2. There would be nobody in my new classes that id like or get on with and id be left out of all group participation.
  3. Because I didn’t go out with the others during the summer due to social anxiety they would think i was rude and boring and id be out of the friendship group.
  4. Id have a panic attack going through the nightmare of a corridor crush.
  5. That one piece of home work I hadent done would be the end of the world give me a detention and being the good girl i am i used to dread detention.

Now more than likely this thoughts are completely untrue your friends will be glad to see you again and going back to school will be a lot easier than you think.  But if you do find your self in some of these situations above here is my advice to deal with them.

  • If you do find no where to sit and have to sit on your try not to over think it and think what over people will be  thinking of you for doing that.
  • If you have a field you’re aloud to sit on at break and lunch times sit there as there are no specfic seats so it wont be obvious to anyone that your sitting on your own because there are no seats or anyone to sit with, you will just be seen as having a chill out time on your own by choice.
  • Nobody can choose what classes there put into everybody is in the same boat hear this is out of your hands try not to worry and the good thing is if your not with your mates you might actually get some work done!
  • Some people have panic attacks its nothing you can control which is the scariest part of it i know but i just want to point that out so you dont blame yourself.
  • To reduce the likleyhood of a panic attack heres a few things you can do: learn diffrent/quieter ways for you to get where you nees to go.  If you dont mind your condition being know by those around you, you couuld speak to the school about being aloud to and from classes early so you avoid the crush of people. Try your best to rationalize your thoughts, yes its busy and people are touching you/getting aggitated but the reason for this is not because they want to hurt you or there annoyed with you its cause everyone annoyed at how little space there is in the corridoor and there only touching you cause they physically have to.
  • As for homework if you dont do it cause your lazy i have no symphaty but if you are generally are stuck teachers can normally tell and understand the best thing to do is go and speak to  them before class or in future email them its not that scary i promise and if they have what you have said in writing your less likley to be accused of just being lazy and not doing it.
  • And just one last piece of advice everything on that list of worries did happen to me sereval times it felt like the complete end of the world at the time. Now i still get upset that i missed out on school being “the best time of your life” like everyone says but i really dont care what anyone said or thought about me. So if anything bad happens speak to your parents school or friends no matter how small because overthinking and not talking about a problem creates more aneixty and can make it feel like the biggest thing in the word .

also as allways please comment below your ecxpirences/feelings on this or if you need someone to talk to privatly dm on twitter @mrssykeswannabe

Courtney