My thoughts on the batman killer- a liscence to kill

Well the title of this post make it pretty clear what it’s about so I’m not going to give the normal introduction to the idea of the post like I normally would. However before sharing my thoughts on the documentary I’d like to make two things clear : Firstly my thoughts and sympathy go out to all the victims of the massicare. Secondly the comments I make in this post are  based on the one case presented in the documentary and the limited information we have been given about it , I want to make this clear because every persons case is different and although some points I make may fall under the catorgory of general mental health treatment everyone should see them self’s as an individual and seek  perfessional help if they feel it is needed. 

For those of you who don’t know what programe  I’m referring to the show panorama ran a documantry or investigation actually I don’t know what they were trying to do! But the program concentrated on the murder James Holmes a man who committed a massicare in a USA cinema in 2012. James has a mental health condition and before the murder was put on an SSRI drug to treat his condition the bbc claim it wanted to investigate if there was a link between the medication james was put on and his intent to murder so they sensitive called their programme the batman killer- a prescription for murder.

I wrote down notes while I was watching the programme and the first thing that struck me was the title a liscence to kill, I understand that titles are meant to be shocking to draw people into the programme but the main reason the title stuck a chord with me was it was partly true this man was given a licence to kill not because of his status of having a mental illness or being on medication but because he was able to buy a gun.

In an American culture I can see how it would be easy to look past this fact but for the BBC a British TV channel that is meant to be respectable and non biased to not even mention that without the gun he would not have had the tools to enable him to carry out the thoughts he was having regardless of weather they were caused by taking the medication sertraline or not.

I say regardless because even though I’d like to hope they didn’t cause him to have thsee thoughts there is a possiblity that the sertraline did cause the thoughts that led him to plot the massicare but as I’m not a qualified perfessional I would not what to speculate whether they did or did not controbite to it.

However I myself have social aneixty and take sertraline and when hearing his feelings about hating human situations sometimes and being shy I could relate. But that relation stopped as soon as I heard he wanted to kill people!  As soon as heard this I wrote in my notes”the feeling to kill is not a feeling or symptom of social aneixty it is psychotic ” this was later confirmed  by the perfessionals in the documentary  but not made clear enough in my opinion,  and because of this i would now think twice about reffering to my aneixty as social aneixty because of well people associating me with this terrible act. 

Lastly another thing that stood out for me was the terrible practice of doctor who was treating James Holmes. An example of bad prac rice is It was mentioned but again not highlited enough that he was having thoughts of killing people before he was put on the meds as a perfessional she should have recognised that this was not part of his social aneixty so his treatment should have been altered. Another mistake that was made was upping the dose of the SSRI he was on.  Even if drugs are not harmful by nature they are powerful substances so if any drug reacts to someone negatively don’t up it whether it’s a physical health problem or a mental one just throwing drugs at the problem is a form of substance abuse and will cause damage of some kind. 

There were many more mistakes she made but this post is not about his treatment it’s about the documentary and my main problem with the programme is that it made no effort to be informitive or balanced. 

 Even if the proggrame aim wasent to give a holstic and fair view on mental health the bbc had a responsiblity to inform ir British audience that the procedure for mental health treatment is very different here and just like we wouldn’t have guns in my ecxpirence we are treated with stricter guidance, I have to have check ups on my medication and how it’s effecting me and with this not bring mentioned it is going to create unnecessary fear that will lead to pejedice and discrimination. 

I was willing to give this documentary a chance as like I’ve said we don’t know what effects drugs we are given have our stytem and mental health paticarly is an evolving field so it could have raised some intesting thoughts . But it’s lack of balanced and factual reporting along with not making it revelvant to its British audience can only in my opinion do harm to the thoughts and culture we place on mental health in britian.

I’d just like reiterate that thus case is a very unique case and if you feel you need perfessional help please do!

Everyone’s mental health recovery is unique 

Last night I  took part in my first mental health chat on twitter. (#MHchat) What was a very positive experience and left me personally feeling supported was tarnished by a few ignorant comments such as “people should stop banging on about mental health ” and the very noticeably  ignorant  comment “just go for a walk to cure mental health” which shock horror doesnt work! Anyway before I start ranting about the people who made the comments I’ll stop talking about them and move on to the reason I’m writing this post.

During the chat I saw three reoccurring questions and topics being talked about these were:  How they were scared /unsure how to get treatment? If they needed treatment? What kind of treatment to choose? So as I started this blog to help people I thought I’d do by best to give advice and reassure people on those issues because I know from myself if someone like the people on twitter belittle mental health issues it can make you even more unsure of your own very REAL  problems your  going through. But please don’t listen to them and listen to people who understand and want to help you. But PEP talk over and onto giving that help by trying to answer  the 3 questions I mentioned earlier.

  • Scared to get treatment and unsure how to?

Many people are scared to get treatment for mental health problems due to the negative stereotypes relating to the type of people who get mental health treatment, and the negative connotations to the treatment itself. All I can say is people judge and make assumption on things they don’t understand. I know from personal experience it can be very hard to rationalize in your head that people are saying unhelpful  and sometimes very mean things about mental health or your personal mental health because they do not understand what you’re going through, because at a time where you feel your most vulnerable and insecure ignorance can be so damaging. But please do be brave enough and confident enough to seek treatment because if the reason you are not seeking treatment for your mental health is other people’s comments then in the long run your going to do more damage to your own health by not  getting treatment than any comment could! And of course all mental health treatment is confidential so even though it helps to have a support network when having treatment nobody even has to know your having any. On topic of how do you get mental health treatment I’m not medically trained so even though I have been through the process i would not want to give you misleading information so i will leave some links relating to UK mental health help at the bottom of this post.

  • Do I need treatment?

The thing I’d personally think about to answer this question is how much is your mental health effecting your happiness and daily life. Mental health is a subjective thing only you can feel and know what you’re going through no one can read minds so unless your showing physical signs of hurting yourself or others no one has the right to tell you if you should or should not get treatment. ( I know its controversial to say people have the right to send you to treatment if you self harm but that’s just my personal opinion) A common thing i see is people saying i dont think im unwell enough or desrve to get treatment. Well it doesnt matter if you look at your friend/family member and think well their mental health seems worse than mine so I don’t need treatment. This is not the case! First of all just like people can’t read your mind you cant read theirs, you might have exactly the same severity of mental health issues but their just more open to talk about it then you or they show more physical symptoms than you do and again you can see physical things not mental making it seem like they are more severe. But secondly so what if they are worse than you? Should  you not get the right to treatment to make you happy and live your life without the barriers that mental health brings just cause somebody else has it worse? Of course you should still get treatment you only get one life and that life is yours no one elses so you owe to yourself to be as happy and do as many things as you want to in your life. So to sum up you need treatment if you feel your personal quality of life could be improved by having it.

  • What kind of treatment should I have? 

To a certain extent this is again your choice. I’ve seen lots of people say that drugs make them feel numb or CBT didn’t work for them or relaxation and breathing therapy didnt work for them ( I tried the relaxation approach it didnt work for me ) but try at first at least to ignore other people’s opinions on treatments and listen to the professionals  because like i said mental health is subjective it  might not have worked for them but may work for you. However if you try the treatment plan suggested by a medical profesional  and it isn’t working for you i would always suggest telling them or getting a second opinion because as i said they will be medically trained so have a good idea how to treat your condition but mental health is so personal and subjective that only you know if you are improving or not. About the types of medical  treatment again i am not a trained professional so i will make sure the links i leave below explain them for you.

That’s all the questions i wanted to answer. Thank you so much for reading. I am being a complete hypocrite here because if someone has made negative comments to be about my mental health i would never have been able to say the things i have said to you to myself! I hope one day the ignorance sounding mental health can stop i didn’t want to go into too much detail bout what happened on twitter because i didnt want them to get anymore attention so instead i thought id piss them off by banging on about mental health even more while trying to help people in the process as always leave what you think in the comments. Tweet me or dm if you want to chat at anytime my username is @mrssykeswannabe

nhs pages : how to acsess nhs mental health services

a list of mh disorders for more info

non medical support: young minds a site with mh info for children and teens

childline free confidential support for anyone under the age of 19

samaritans free confidential help for adults

mind a charity providing mh support and info



Words have an impact please be careful how you use them

I haven’t had the best day today mental health wise, I went shopping in a big center in and due to the social anxiety i have i was already very nervous, constantly thinking everyone that couldn’t get passed my wheelchair was just judging me and hating the fact i was even there.   I have social anxiety in the form of i’m worried about saying the wrong thing, making a fool of myself or being judged, when i say judged i don’t mean my appearance i couldn’t care less i just go out in jeans t shirt and no make up everyday. What I worry about is how people perceive my character and actions, i pride myself on being a good person so for people to think or judge any personality flaw i have hurts me which is stupid because everyone has personality flaws i know!

So now  I’ve done the back ground ill go into what made me want to write the post, this might be a bit hard cause i’m trying to be discrete about who was involved and what the thing that upset was specifically about which i know wont make the most gripping of posts but I hope ill still get my point across.

While i was shopping with these people who are very close to me they made a comment about a hypothetical thing im going to do and said i would be embarrassing, this wasn’t a silly little sing like just embarrassing dancing, this was a normal human interaction that is what i struggle with and they said the word embarrassing. Just one word made me think about my actions all day for the rest of the day i went over past interactions of the same type in my head in the end i just got so anxious and worked up i cried. The people’s reactions to me where “oh we have hit a nerve!” Yes you hit a nerve and the worst part of it is you no me well enough to know my insecurities and to know that would hit a nerve and i think thats what angered me. Any form of mental health issues in individual to each person the things that trigger the same condition can vary from person to person so of course i’m not going to be super sensitive if a stranger says a comment that makes me anxious i mean don’t get  me wrong ill still overthink it but i wont be angry or take it to heart as much.

The whole situation got me thinking how words can come see easily but be have such an affect on someone. So be careful and kind with your words in every case but if you know somebody with a mental health issue learn their triggers and if there comfortable talking about it talk to them about the kind of things that can be said and how it makes them feel. This will do two things, one your less likely to trigger them in the future and two you can tell them that you dont see them in the light they clearly see themselves and talk to them how there feeling. If they are comfortable doing this then you making that effort will mean so much to them.

Have you had any the experience i had when someone has worded things in a way that effected you? or hopefully have had the experience where people have took time learn about and help you? i’d love to hear about them tweet me @mrssykeswannabe or leave comments down below.